The silence of brokenness

To care is to be disappointed,
To care is to be devastated.
The heart of it all,
was crushed by the fall.
Guaranteed soul destruction
Guaranteed total demolition
of the organ that keeps
everything a beat
How much simpler to then close it off
To lock it away in a box
Shut out from the sun's burning rays
And the beauty that fills the days
Closed to the brutal coldness of humanity
Closed too, to the beauty of simplicity
Instead, pour out into the deafening silent abyss
That has for times untold listened to all amiss
The wineskin that has counted every tear drop
The Hand that can make it all stop
But it won't, because to pour out
Is the only way to appease doubt
Until one is empty and drained
Then it will come the late summer rain
Onto the broken earth of the broken heart
that has been tilled and plowed, all exposed sinews apart
Can finally absorb the compassion need
and the multitudes with grace to feed
To fill up with joy
only to be destroyed
again lest the poor soul believes
it is he that relieves.
And so in this constant state
That mercifully does not abate,
The soul will delight in loneliness
and the perpetual silence of brokenness.

Something like a dream

It's funny, I was thinking today about Boston, and a little over than a month ago. My life there, like a dream. SO completely different from here. For one, little things like having to be concerned that my shoulders are decently covered when I leave my neighborhood, not being able to have a cheeseburger, or turkey cheese sandwich, etc, to huge things like not having a BLOODY clue what the signs say. It's worse than Greek. Although, I have learned 6 of the 22 letters of the "aleph bet,"and I can order a large latte to go (Cafe afoukh godol bavakasha....lahahat....) and count to ten, and that's about it. Furthermore, this is the first place I've been where I have NO concept of the language, no rudimentary knowledge, nada, nothing. At least my Russian is coming in handy.
Yesterday a few of us went to the beach in Tel Aviv. Fun city, although, I'm tired of fun.
I go to church in the Old City, which was built on top of the ruins of Roman Jerusalem. It's Christ Church Anglican, one of the first Protestant churches in the Middle East. Sometimes it's absolutely SURREAL. I mean, William Wilburforce, THE abolitionist, helped to establish this church. Furthermore, being a believer (Christian is a dirty word here), when the Bible says stuff about Judea, Samaria, Syria, Lebanon, wherever, I mean, I actually know what the Bible is talking about. It's not figurative, but VERY real. I don't quite know how to handle that yet.

Any suggestions... :p

Israel

I have been in Israel for a month now. Let's see, in the last month I have gone been all over Israel, met more diplomats, intellectuals, states people, your general blend of intelligentsia and spiritual leaders than I thought possible. My general impression of the Israel Experience Tour with Eagles' Wings. The most impressionable visit was to Mount Carmel close to Haifa. This is the same Mount Carmel where Elijah called upon G-d and He sent down fire from in I Kings 18. There is a congregation there, Kehilat HaCarmel, the pastor and his wife are from Times Square Church in NYC, and they operate under the principal of the "one new man," so Jews, Gentiles, Arabs, everyone together, as a One New Man in Christ. Kehilat HaCarmel is taking care of some Sudanese Refugees, they are the most precious little children.
Some of them are African Muslims who were being attacked because they are black, by their Arab Muslim brothers, some are Christian Sudanese, who were victims of religious persecution. I think that has become my recent soap box. Recently, four Sudanese refugees were bludgeoned to death by Egyptian soldiers, and no one reported on it, except the Jerusalem Post. Israel is doing a lot to help the refugees, but they just keep coming and coming. It's not a very large country, and no one else seems to be doing much about it.

I really like my new job. I'm working as a staff writer for the International Christian Embassy-Jerusalem. So basically I read Israeli newspapers (the English editions) ones in the morning, pick out the headlines, summarize and rewrite for our daily news service. Monday, I'm being sent out "into the field." It will be the second anniversary of Israeli disengagement from Gaza, and so I'll be listening to press conferences, interviews, etc about the experiences of former residents, the current barrage of Quassam rockets that Hamas still launches from the disengaged Gaza on Israel, daily.

Things don't make sense here, from a natural perspective. If it really was about peace, why do the Palestinians continuously bite the hand that feeds them? They are their own worst enemies. I guess the answer is that it is a spiritual dilemma. More so then ever, I am seeing that all of this is not about territories and boundaries, but it is about which god is greater. Allahu Ahkbar does not mean "God is great." It means "Our god is greater." NB, it's not about converting the Muslims, but it IS about putting a stop to the reign of radical Islamism. When people are forced to convert to Islam for fear of their lives, and no one does anything about it....

On some more uplifting notes...today is Shabbat. It's really amazing how all of Jerusalem just shuts down on Shabbat. I really think this is a great practice. Everyone rests. It's okay to be lazy and sleep in, everyone is doing it. And Shabbat dinners, so good. It's all about families and friends getting together, enjoying life.

The ICEJ is underway with preparations for the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot). I will be in the dance company. It says in Zecheriah 14:16 "Then the survivors from all the nations that have attacked Jerusalem will go up year after year to worship the King, the LORD Almighty, and to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles." True there has not been an Armageddon yet, etc...but it says that the nations will come to Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast. It just struck me one day that I GET TO DANCE for one of the major holy feasts. I mean, talk about....humbling (that doesn't even come close).

Anyway, if you have made it this far......congratulations. More updates on "Angelina goes into field reporting" soon.

Look what I found, I miss Hosanna...

Now, if only life were such.


I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
in our eyes are mirror images and when
we kiss they're perfectly aligned
and I have to speculate that God himself
did make us into corresponding shapes like
puzzle pieces from the clay
and true, it may seem like a stretch, but
its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
head when you're away when I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road for
several weeks of shows and when you scan
the radio, I hope this song will guide you home

they will see us waving from such great
heights, "come down now," they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now," but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave this song on your
machine but the persistent beat it sounded
thin upon listening and
that frankly will not fly. you will hear
the shrillest highs and lowest lows with
the windows down when this is guiding you home

they will see us waving from such great
heights, "come down now," they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now," but we'll stay...

In the Battle of the Somme, over 20,000 people were killed before lunch, by the end of WWII, millions upon millions were dead. How does society recover from something like that? Can it? Does it? Maybe because I'm taking all these history classes right now, compounded with the whole ballet/classical arts discipline, I say that it has not, cannot. WWII, was the death of Western civilization as we knew it. How could the land of Beethoven, Goethe, Schiller, become the home of the Nazis? Dadaism, society had reverted back to baby talk. In terms of "dance" things have trended towards modern dance, people running on stage doing a few poses, running in a circle, and leaving. It all seems so empty. Perhaps that's because there is nothing left.

Watched Flags of Our Fathers this evening, it was....ok. In my opinion, it dwelt too much on the actual picture, and not as much on the stories behind the characters in the picture. I think the book is much better, at least it will be when I have a chance to read it. However, there were previews for The Nativity. It actually seems like a good depiction of birth of Christ, besides, since the passing of Cecil B DeMille, we're long overdue for a good Nativity story. Finally, there was a preview for Babel. Now this I am excited to see....what can I say, 5 some languages, 3 continents, Cate Blanchett (one of my favourites) Brad Pitt (not as big a fan of, but he's done decent stuff). What can I say, I love movies. Unfortunately, I never seem to have time to see everything.

New Year's Resolution....in the middle of October, cut back on TV/computer time.